Therapy for Gay Men in San Francisco
I offer effective, evidence-based therapy for gay and queer men who are ambitious, sensitive, and struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, sexual inhibition, and a myriad of challenges in connecting with other people (e.g. friends, partners, family, colleagues).
If you’re a gay man in San Francisco, your life might look put together from the outside.
You’ve got a few friends, a good career, some ‘objective’ measure of success — but, inside, things feel much more complicated. You might do alright walking through life, projecting confidence one moment and then sinking into intense self-doubt the next.
Social opportunities are everywhere in this city… but you feel unable to lean in to them. Objectively, you’ve accomplished a lot in your life… but you don’t know how to actually enjoy what you’ve built. You might be having too much, not enough, or not the right kind of sex. You and your partner — if you’re not still scrolling or swiping endlessly in pursuit of one — could be more intimate with each other. Emotionally, I mean. Though probably in the bedroom, too. Maybe you’re thinking about opening your relationship or struggling to manage the complexity of non-monogamy in a responsible manner.
Whatever it is that’s bothering you… Trust me. I’ve heard it before.
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
You don't have to keep pushing forward without a sense of direction.
Instead, take a breath. Take the next step.
Click here to book a free 30-minute consultation call to discuss starting the work.
Why Gay Men Seek Therapy with Me...
Patients often come to me because they’re looking for:
– a highly trained therapist who intuitively understands the life experiences of gay men without needing everything explained…
– longer-lasting changes at a deep level, not only short-term coping skills or symptom checklists…
– a place to learn how to talk honestly about anxiety, sex, shame, self-image, and other vulnerabilities…
– a therapist who balances warmth and attunement with clear and direct feedback…
At the end of treatment, a number of former patients have told me the following:
“I’m very thankful for the high standards you maintained during our sessions.”
“You did a really good job of helping me open up, even when I thought I didn’t really feel like it.”
“Whenever I needed it, you gave me some structure to hold onto but also let me speak.”
“I’ve had other therapists before… but you really ‘get’ the world I live in.”
Over 10 years of clinical experience have taught me that these qualities of my work and the sense of recognition they engender are essential ingredients in the work of therapy.
You Don’t Have to Perform Here…
In my practice, I primarily work with gay men in their 20s and 30s who are thoughtful, sensitive, ambitious, and also, oftentimes, quietly hurting. If you’re reading this now, you might be:
– attractive or charismatic, but unable to feel it…
– externally projecting confidence but internally feeling fragile…
– high-achieving but constantly self-monitoring…
– sexually alive — or wanting to be — but inhibited or ashamed…
– in a position to be socially well-connected but emotionally lonely…
– in a relationship you’re unsure about or unfulfilled by…
– increasingly anxious about “losing time,” aging, or not being “enough”…
Many of the men I see in counseling report having survived difficult circumstances by cultivating highly polished, impressive, and exceptionally responsible personalities. Those strengths helped you get where you are… but they may now be limiting your ability to feel ease, be close to others, feel relaxed, and live life to the fullest.
In our work, you don’t have to be “the impressive version” of yourself. You can — and, in fact, should — bring the parts of yourself you keep hidden everywhere else.
